First I must tell you I cannot abide birds. I don’t know why, but I just can’t cope with their sharp peaks, awful scaly feet and staring singular eyes.
So you can imagine I had a shock today when, minding my own business at England’s Lane Books, a pigeon flew past the counter. I immediately got into a flap (geditt..?) and running out onto the street tried to flag down A MAN to deal with the live bird.
See how stereotypical and home counties I become when faced with wild life?
In my panic I next accosted a young (male, obviously) student from the Arts College next door, who was just lighting a cigarette outside our shop window. He looked horrified at me and stammered, ‘I’m not sure…’.
I went back into the shop and faced with the bird sitting proudly on top of a hardcover of Diana Athill (Signed by the author – how dare it!?), tried to guide it out of the open door with the help of my DKNY wrap cardigan. The bird flew into the window and began to fly up and down a beautiful display of children’s books by Julia Donaldson. The situation was going from bad to worse.
|Pigeon reading children’s books. I mean…?|
At this point a man turned up in the doorway. It was one of the butchers opposite the shop on England’s Lane. ‘You have a problem?’ he asked calmly. I could have kissed him. He took one look at the now panicking bird in front of him and the one in the window (it was also being photographed by what had turned into a small crowd of people outside) and said, ‘I think I know what to do.’ He went out and came back again a few minutes later carrying a white butcher’s coat. With this he caught the bird and let it go again outside.
|My hero of the day.|
I was so grateful I kept thanking him over and over and even offered to buy him a book, but he wouldn’t hear of it.
So many thanks to the wonderful man (I didn’t even get his name..!) from the Barrett’s of Belsize for saving me from a killer pigeon (Alright, it was just a small bird…).