Helena Halme Author

Nordic Fiction with a hint of Noir and Romance

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Google+
  • Books
  • Blog
  • Join My Launch Crew
  • New Novel Sneak Peek
  • Contact me

Wives and squirrels

July 3, 2010 by Helena Halme 5 Comments

I woke up this morning to the news that a wife carrying competition is going to take place in Finland later today. That time already, I thought. This, the 15th Eukonkanto World Championships in Sonkajärvi is an annual bizarre news item on the BBC. Somehow, every year, it fires the news editor’s imagination.

As a Finn, I’m fairly used to being the odd one out in a room, answering questions about strange happenings in my native land; or customs of my countrymen. Take the sauna culture. Hijacked first by Swedes, then Soho massage parlours, as a sexual activity, I’m sick of explaining that in fact it’s an age old tradition to clean oneself and that the nakedness is purely a practical state. I often add that it’s a fairly difficult affair to actually have sex in temperatures above 80C. And that in no way do you have a group of friends of different sexes go into a sauna together. Unless of course you’re sixteen and very drunk. This is usually the point when the person I’m speaking to sees someone they know on the other side of the room.

But over the years it’s occurred to me that the English, far from disapproving of the weird and wonderful activities of us Finns, actually quite envy us. And that the British themselves are quite strange. And that I married one of these eccentrics. Rather than scoff at the naked sauna culture, or the lack of embarrassment in nudity, Husband has embraced it.

So when I ran into the spare bedroom after hearing a loud shot this morning and saw him standing at the window naked, holding a gun, (no jokes please) with a mad look in his eyes, saying, ‘I got it!’ I wasn’t that surprised. When I enquired why he’d felt the need to shoot the squirrel, now lying rigid on the grass next to the half-dead plum tree, he calmly said, ‘He was eating my nuts.’ Again, I just saw the funny side of it.

But after a few minutes I started to worry: shooting squirrels who rob food from bird feeders may be a problem when we’re living in NW3.   

You may also like:

Five things you should know about a Finnish sauna Default ThumbnailSauna hats How to Attend Indie Author Fringe Default ThumbnailPappa’s Girl Part 5

Comments

  1. Wildernesschic says

    July 3, 2010 at 9:46 am

    OMG Helena I could have written that last paragraph that is such a familiar wake up scene in this house as its our bedroom from where he shoots… LOL… I would love to see their faces in NW3 xx

    Reply
  2. Looking Fab in your forties says

    July 3, 2010 at 11:57 am

    How funny! I would be petrified if there was a gun in my house, I am sure either myself or OH would be dead by now.

    Reply
  3. pinklea says

    July 3, 2010 at 5:48 pm

    That's hilarious! Once again, this proves the point that the funniest stuff just cannot be invented, it actually happens!

    Reply
  4. Sharon Longworth says

    July 3, 2010 at 7:34 pm

    I laughed out loud at this – thank you.

    Reply
  5. Wildernesschic says

    July 3, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    PS Darren has just asked me to tell you, as he is puffed up with pride. That he has shot over 500 plus squirrels here, in the past six years, and I don't know how many rats … Men and their nut protection ;0

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

Free Story for my Readers Group only!

Read an Exclusive First Chapter

NEW

Find out more

new

View Book

Alliance of Independent Authors /

Free Exclusive Bonus Chapter

looking for the self publishing coach?

Follow me on Instagram

First time on the Elizabeth Line. #elizabethline First time on the Elizabeth Line. 
#elizabethline #londonlife #tube #farringdon
I’m into orange at the moment, I wonder why? 😄🧡📙
Five weeks to publication of AN ISLAND HEATWAVE today. 💃
https://mybook.to/AIH #linkinbio
What a lovely surprise! AN ISLAND HEATWAVE has hi What a lovely surprise! 
AN ISLAND HEATWAVE has hit #No1 on Amazon.💃
The novel is now on pre-order offer. 
https://mybook.to/AIH
Link also in bio. 😉🧡📙
It’s a frosty, sunny morning in North London. Fe It’s a frosty, sunny morning in North London. Feels a bit like home. 🥶🇫🇮🇬🇧
Load More Follow on Instagram

Follow Me On Facebook

Facebook Pagelike Widget
Alliance of Independent Authors /

writing and publishing tips

Read Exclusive First Chapter

free exclusive bonus chapters

Copyright © 2023 · Author Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in